I have a little time on my hands today. That doesn't happen often now. I want to cherish it, I want to cherish everything. It's so hard not to become consumed by what will be lost. I was just reading the few blog entries I made when my Dad passed. It's amazing to me as I read, what I wrote. It's like we have to learn the same lessons again and over again.Why is loss such a shock?
I looked back at the entries I've already made on this blog. I have to learn that every slip my Mom makes isn't necessarily a step off the cliff into the ocean. There is a level of wanting to be prepared, if you accept the inevitable, then somehow you will be more ready for it. It's not true, you just waste time worrying. I'm trying to teach Olivia about how useless "worry" is. I hope I can help her learn that, I hope I can.
I'm really hurt by the way my Mom's doctor is behaving. I don't know what to make of it. I've always dismissed people when they spoke of how unfriendly the healthcare system is. We've been so lucky and now all of a sudden, when I need it most it is failing me.
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