When my Dad passed away last year I started a blog. I made a couple of posts, but it all happened so fast that I couldn't keep it up and posting didn't seem to be an answer for my grief. Today, less than a year and a half later, my Mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Honestly, until today, I didn't think there could be anything worse than to witness a parent being diagnosed with incurable cancer, until today.
I know there are a ton of things worse than that, losing a child, losing a husband but to witness that kind of, I don't even know how to describe it. It's not terror, it's more like defeat. To witness that, and to be totally incapable of saying or doing anything to make it easier to bear, is almost unbearable in itself.
How terrified must she be? What does her future hold? How long will she know who I am? I'm not ready to slowly watch my Mom fade away before my very eyes.
They told her she can't drive, that in itself must be a stunning lose. How is she going to explain that to people she doesn't want to know about the diagnosis? Her whole life has changed, on a dime.
The doctor said it will be easiest on my Mom, I doubt that, at least not in the beginning. She already said, quite off-hand, that she would rather die than face this. I'm so sorry for her, I'm so scared for her.
How do I tell my daughters? My sister? When? When do we tell her friends? Who will stand by her? How are we going to do this?
No comments:
Post a Comment